When you Realize Your Girlfriend is Really the She-Hulk
The Mystery of the Female Mind: Navigating the Relationship Rollercoaster
Are women really from Venus? Or are they just interstellar travelers on an emotional rollercoaster?
The baffling phenomenon of how women can go from agreeing with you for a “no-stings” hook-up to hearing wedding bells faster than a man is insulted by someone on The View.
No-relationship agreement to Wedding Bells: Women doing the Whiplash
You explained it in the beginning: “Girl, I don’t want strings, I don’t want a relationship, This is just a hook-up”.
“I don’t want to meet your parents, or your cat. Don’t call me when your lights won’t work, you need someone to help you move or car won’t start.”
She be like: “Yes, baby, Just a situationship, this is never going anywhere serious any how, I’m jut not ready for that shit. Babe, I just want to Netflix and Chill.
She’s in agreement whole-hardheartedly, at least that’s what you thought!
Unfortunately women change their minds they way they change lanes, you never know when it’s over.
Fast forward a few weeks, and suddenly, your casual chat about weekend plans turns into picking wedding colors.
Did Cupid strike her in her ass with an arrow while you were in the bathroom?
Attachment Alert: When “No Strings” Becomes Heartstrings
Remember the good ol’ days when you both swore off relationships like they were outdated flip phones?
Just when you’ve aced the art of “no strings attached,” welcome to the new chapter: “Heartstrings Attached.”
Who knew that being unattached would lead to her becoming one-way ticket to Life Sentence?
One minute she’s all good-to-go, and the next you feel like you are stuck living out some episode on a Lifetime show.
The Marriage Mirage: When Cold Feet Turn into Wedding Marches
Sweet sound of commitment… or is it? As the relationship seesaw tilts, you find yourself being chased by the marriage mirage.
One moment, you’re being crowned the Emperor of ‘Chillville,’ and the next, you’re being dragged down the aisle by your Johnson.
Why should any man marry in the first place?
Eighty percent of divorces are initiated by the woman. With all the risk attached, men are insane to get married. The juice is no longer worth the squeeze.
And when you reject her?
Be ready for heavy dose of the chicken neck attitude to come out with the threats.
All of a sudden, one day she becomes the She-Hulk.
Now she be like: “How dare you not want to marry me?”
“You see all this affection I have for you, besides all the base I’ve been giving you?”
“You suck, I would rather drink turpentine and piss on a brush fire than marry you!”
With your friends, you be like: “Don’t you wish women came with a “Best Used By Date”?